Forever by Your Side
by MeganeMii-Kun
Summary: Izaya is in a coma. Shizuo revels in the peace and normalcy in his life...for at least a month. He slowly becomes bored and, damn near, lonely. He slowly gives in and goes and visits the man. The first visits were difficult and uncomfortable but he realizes that there was a sort of familiarity and starts to visit frequently. Rated M for language and just to be safe.
1. Trying

Original Prompt: Izaya falls into a coma for a very long time (a year? two?). Is it because of Shizuo, or not, doesn't really matter. At first Shizuo doesn't care, because "the Flea can die for all he cares", but after some time, let's say two months or so, he starts feeling... lonely? Bored? He realizes that his life without Izaya is pretty boring and uneventful. Also he feels something like longing for the other's company. So one day he decides to go to the hospital and visit Izaya. At first Shizuo feels awkward and leaves after a short while, but later he comes back. First few visits are rather quiet, as Shizu doesn't really know what to do or say. After some time though he builds up courage and starts talking to Izaya. He talks about everything. What happens in Ikebukuro, his daily activities and problems, their friends, etc. He also gets interested in Izaya's condition, which doesn't look very good. The worse it gets, the more time Shizuo spends by his side. Izaya's state is once better, once worse, with the latter more frequent. Somehow though he manages to wake up. With memories of someone's warm hand and quiet words.

How they get together after all this is up to A!A, but please don't make it extremely short and cliché, like: Izaya wakes up, Shizuo is by his side and says he loves him, Izaya says he loves him too, the end. Complicate and drag it out a little bit ;)

**Bonus points if:**  
- one day Shizuo brings flowers  
- at some point Shizuo starts laying down beside, and gently hugging Izaya

**WARNINGS: Yaoi/Shonen Ai/Boys Love and if you are not OK with this than you have serious problems with your hand to have clicked this link. Those of you ready to read, please enjoy~**

* * *

Izaya walked along the hallway gripping the wall, as much as he can, so as to not topple over in a mess of limbs. His breathing was labored as he pushed himself to a familiar apartment door and rang the door bell.

He had just gotten back from his usual banter with a certain monster. Of course, the brute just had to haul something heavy at the lithe man and cause a commotion. Izaya hadn't thought he'd run into the blond ex-bartender and knew he shouldn't provoke the beast any further. Not when he was like _this_. But since when did Orihara Izaya ever listen to reason. He teased Shizuo; he damn right insulted the man as he ran away parkouring the streets away from a very enraged blond bodyguard.

He was at his limit when something incredibly hard and heavy hit him in the back making him crash into the nearest wall, creating a small crater. As his arch-nemesis started to get closer and closer to where he had landed, he sprang up with unknown strength and sent a blade his way. The blade successfully lodged itself in Shizuo's arm, making the man let out an animalistic roar of rage. Izaya took this as his chance to sprint away. Where he even got the strength to run was dismissed as he headed to his friend doctor's apartment.

He knew he hadn't much time, damn it, he was already seeing his vision fading to black. It felt like years before the door finally opened but that was also when his eyes began to droop and his muscles began to slack.

"Uh, hello? Anyon-, Izaya!"

Ah, he didn't remember the last time he'd been so happy to hear Shinra's shrilly voice.

* * *

Shizuo sat there on Shinra's couch as the doctor began fumbling with a bag of medical supplies and a cell to his ear. He had come over when Celty sent him an urgent message to him that something had happen. He didn't quite know what had happen but Celty seemed to have gone to the hospital to deliver a patient and he was stuck with a frantic underground doctor who was fumbling with his tie and surgical gloves.

The brunet finally sat down across from him and gave him such a serious look it made the air around them tense.

"Shizuo, did Celty say anything of what happened yet?"

"No. She said you would explain it to me once I got here, but you were so busy fussing," Shizuo snorted as he took a long drag of the already disintegrating cancer stick in his hand.

"Ah, well, to put this bluntly...Izaya is in a coma."

"...And that has something to do to me why?"

"Because you have a hand in it, Shizuo-kun," by the confused look on the blond's face the doctor adjusted his glasses before continuing. "The cause of his coma is mostly, if not all, head trauma."

Shizuo could only glare at the smaller man as he crushed his already finished cigarette on the ashtray to only get another one. He lit it before confronting his friend again, "And like I said, how is this my fault?"

"Taking a few vending machines to the head is not part of the norm. I'm not saying this is your entire fault but you both are responsible for this taking place. You know, he's been putting up with this for years. No matter how much I keep telling him to stop aggravating you to heal his condition."

Shizuo stood up in the middle of Shinra's ramblings and had rolled his shoulders back. He was walking towards the door just as Shinra mentioned the last part before answering, "Yeah, so? Flea can go die for all I care. If he's in coma 'cause of me then I'm fucking glad! He'll be outta my hair then. Whatever, Shinra, I'll see you later."

* * *

It's been two months since Shinra had told him the incident. The first month was heavenly for Shizuo. He got to do his job, get paid for beating people up, and for once he wasn't gaining as much city debt as before. His smoking was even becoming less of a hazard for him, only having at least three a day. He even went out with Tom and Vorona to Russia Sushi more often and got to hang around Kadota from time to time. The only one he didn't see frequently was Shinra. He still had his talks with Celty, and she didn't bring up the louse in their conversations, but lately she had been out of his life too. He was happy with the pace for a while but when things began to happen repetitiously, his normalcy was becoming boring and uninteresting.

Well into the second month he turned back on his smoking habits as his irritation grew and his rage built in his body. He just felt so damn bored most of the time that his daily three death sticks a day turned to a whole seven, lacking with anything better to relieve his stress. Sure, having his friends around and doing things a normal human being did made him feel happy and accepted but he felt something was missing. Somewhere inside there was this empty space. A void he couldn't fill, no matter how many days passed. Funny he never felt this way before when...

_When the flea was still around_.

The thought stuck with him as he continued his uneventful day off.

* * *

He didn't mean to end up on the side of the road waiting for Celty, hands twitching anxiously. He finally heard the whinny of her motorcycle when she pulled up a little ways in front of him and strode over to sit beside Shizuo.

[What's the matter? You're text seemed more tense then usual]

Leave it to Celty to read into emotions in texts and stuff. Shizuo couldn't help the light heave of a sigh push through his lips as he tried to manage sorting through his thoughts. The Irish woman placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder as she waited patiently.

"How's Izaya," he never knew there would be a day where he would ask this. He never knew he would be the one to bring up the informant in their conversations unless it was to complain and scorn the flea.

Celty seemed to hesitate at this and if she had a head, he swore, he could see her furrow her brow in thought. Her fingers ran slowly over the letters of her PDA as she hesitantly showed him her message.

[He hasn't woken up yet. Shinra says it's pretty bad considering he's kept this for so long, like 12 years or so]

Fuck, it was that bad? But he shouldn't care, the damn louse deserved it. He shouldn't give a flying fuck yet there was the stab of guilt and responsibility. Celty seemed to have read his body as she frantically typed something up and shoved it in his face.

[Shizuo, don't go blaming yourself! This is not all your fault, so don't feel like you need to something drastic. This is both your fault. And it would be nice if you did something...pleasant for Izaya, who took the brunt of this situation]

Shizuo laughed to himself as he conversed a little more with the headless woman before she sped off into the night. He smiled bitterly at the dark sky as the city burst with the night life of humans.

'_Damn Flea. You're in a fucking coma and you still make me feel like shit._'

* * *

He hadn't meant to end up here. No, this was not something he pictured he'd do on one of his days off. But here he was in front of the hospital building, looking as high as his vision let him to catch the top of it. He had tried to tell his body to walk away and not head in this particular direction but since when did his body actually ever listen to him. He couldn't help that longing feeling that crept up in his body, when his mind finally registered that he was going to see the raven man again. Because, damn it, he was..._lonely_. That was the only reasonable emotion he came to when he felt that longing for the company of the man.

He didn't feel awkward when he walked into the lobby of the hospital since he's been here so many times he lost count. But what was difficult for him was to actually tell the nurse at the reception that he was here visiting to see Izaya. He walked briskly towards the appointed room and stopped just before the door. He half expected to hear a familiar cackle and jeer from the other side just to tease him. But silence was the only thing that filled the halls.

He knocked twice before quietly opening the door. The first thing he saw was raven locks that contrasted against white and then his skin that was even paler than the last time he saw the man. He wanted to believe that the longer he stared, he would be able to see those eyes flutter open to reveal bloody crimson laughing at him.

But nothing came and the apprehension in the air was too much for the ex-bartender as he walked out and didn't stop walking until he ended up in some random park that was all the way across the city. He huffed and wheezed to catch his breath while running a hand through his blond mop of hair.

"What am I doing?"

* * *

It had been days since the first time he visited Izaya. He wasn't even sure if he wanted to visit the man again. But despite the pressure in air when he visited the raven, upon seeing him again only then did the void in his being was slightly filled. So he begrudgingly dragged his feet towards the hospital when the void became unbearable and it even started to fucking hurt.

It was only when he saw the flutter of a white lab coat among the entrance that he thought bad luck plagued him. Shinra just happened to turn around and spotted Shizuo in the crowd and ran towards him. He contemplated to run but thought against it since it would be kind of stupid.

"Shizuo-kun...did you come to see Izaya," Shinra questioned him hopefully. And that was all Shizuo needed to hear to feel like he couldn't handle this and tried walking away. Shinra clutched at his arm, which made Shizuo drag him along with his walk away, blubbering about nonsense. "Ok, I get it! I get it! Just come inside...please?"

Shizuo stopped rigidly before letting his shoulders slump in defeat and followed the doctor inside quietly. He then stood there awkwardly as Shinra sat by Izaya and started babbling about him and Celty, and just about anything that came up in his head. While he talked though he began checking things off a clipboard and checking the machine the raven was hooked up to.

"Shizuo-kun," being addressed out of nowhere made him flinch back into reality as he looked into Shinra's stormy grey orbs. His friend gave him a small smile and chuckle, "You know it helps to talk to a person who's in a coma."

"...You forget. Me and Izaya don't talk," Shizuo said, surprising himself how bitter he sounded. He continued to watch the comatose man, as his chest rose and fell slightly, in dead silence.

* * *

Shizuo sat on a wooden bench in the West Gate Park, idly remembering he had a cig in his mouth, and considering whether he should visit Izaya again. The other time had been fairly awkward after Shinra left. He sat there lost in thought as he faced the flea's unconscious body. Soon after he had to turn away because of the creepy feeling of watching someone who was not awake, much less your enemy, was overwhelming him.

But now that it was another new, uneventful, and boring day, he was really willing to take up the offer of seeing that louse's face. He began his long trek to the hospital that contained Izaya and slowly began to question what was going on with him.

* * *

He found himself studying the raven's face as it stayed perfectly unmoving and inactive. He couldn't deny that Izaya had a pretty handsome face. But his attitude and personality stood out the most and ruined the almost perfect image of a normal person.

The only thing that Shizuo could not picture clearly, were those eyes; those stupid gleaming carmine eyes that always looked down at him. Granted, Izaya had reddish-brown eyes, but they had a weird affect to look plain red. He didn't really know whether he missed the flea messing with him – or he was just too stubborn to admit it – or maybe it was some sort of guilt that brought him here.

Whatever it was was damn annoying. He felt his fingers tingle and twitching for a cigarette and the burn of tobacco and nicotine in his system, but he ignored it. Shizuo just sat there looking at the man's unchanging face and for once he relaxed a little and let his guard down. He wouldn't put it past Izaya to setting this whole thing up just so he could make fun of him or something. But the way Shinra and even Celty – who was not quite as fond of Izaya herself – was worried about the guy got him thinking otherwise.

His amber orbs looked past Izaya's body to the brilliant sky outside of the patient's window. It was getting weird as he started to think more about Izaya and things involving the man that connected to himself. Like how he thought he looked like a fucking Eskimo with all that fur. And how he always thought his eyes were creepy for being red brown but appearing a sickeningly shade of red. But most of all was how Izaya had always managed to rile him up by just standing in front of him.

When it got to the point where he thought about their first encounter, his brain had shot down, and he had decided it was time for him to leave. As he stood in the mid-evening air, he pulled out his pack of cigs and lit one to feel the drugs course through his veins. With one last fleeting look at the informant's room window, he headed off towards his apartment for some much needed sleep.

* * *

It's been a few days since he's been visiting Izaya regularly. It was still tense when he came over and sat in that chair to just stare at the bed-ridden man. But it gave him time to think and sometimes he just sat there thinking about nothing at all. What he liked at this outcome though, was that he was able to be calm, something he had always wanted to be - around Izaya at most - but he was either always messing up or it was the flea's fault for his rage.

He could feel the familiar tick of annoyance at his brow as he stared at the flea's face. If only he were awake, conscious and only pretending to have something wrong with him, he would have loved to punch his face in at the moment. Shizuo could feel a satisfied grin pull on his lips as he confirmed that the man still pissed him off and nothing has really changed besides the fact that he was in a coma.

'_Hurry and wake up, you flea. 'Cause when you do I'll be sure to catch you and beat you right back up for making me feel so bored_.'

* * *

"Hey, Shizuo, you wanna come to Russia Sushi with us," Tom inquired as Vorona looked up expectantly at the said man. Shizuo considered the offer before shaking his head, declining.

"Sorry Tom-san. I've actually got somewhere to be," Shizuo said carefully. Even to himself he sounded uncertain and edgy about the subject. Tom and Vorona looked at him with understanding expressions, though they knew little to nothing about the raven man in the hospital, and waved him off. Shizuo felt a little bad not telling his senpai and kohai about anything but it's not like he was flat out lying either.

As he was halfway towards the hospital he spotted two familiar figures in the crowds of people and felt his heart slightly drop. They noticed Shizuo and made the attempt to push through the throngs of people to get to him. They smiled that all too familiar grin that matched their older brother's.

"Shizuo-san! Fancy meeting you here! Kuru-nee and I were about to go look for you," Mairu babbled as her hand was tightly enclosed around her twin's.

"Shizuo...help," Kururi spoke in her broken way of speech. (Shizuo-san, we actually need your help.)

"Yeah, I bet Shizuo-san will help us!"

"Ou, help with what exactly," Shizuo asked half curious and half knowing. He didn't know whether Shinra had told the flea's family about his conditions but something told him that the girls were oblivious.

"Iza-nii suddenly disappeared from his apartment and we haven't seen him for, at most, two months. He promised that he'd take us shopping and..."

But Shizuo wasn't listening as his heart pounded in his ears and hating the fact that he was right. Should he tell them? They deserved the right to know. But would they care? Whenever he'd asked for Izaya to be disposed of, they would dismiss it and accept to sell their brother out so that they could meet with his brother Kasuka.

He looked into the two pairs of russet eyes and almost saw another pair that bordered on crimson. The girl's eyes looked so much like their brother's – granted they were siblings so they should share genetic qualities – but their eyes were a much more normal brown than the redness in them. He was shocked at what he found in those eyes. To the naked eye they looked uncaring and disinterested but in those rust colored eyes there was a spark of desperation, worry, and wanting.

He remembered in one of his violent fights with Izaya, the cocky bastard stating that the eyes were windows to the soul. Izaya had then proceeded to tease him how his amber eyes showed all his emotions but didn't help with his unpredictability. They had then continued on with their chase.

The moment when he opened his mouth to answer the twins, a loud whinny drowned out his voice and the infamous headless rider presented herself across from the group.

"Celty?"

"Oh, Celty-san!"

[Shizuo, I need you to come with me. Sorry girls, I'm going to have to steal him away from you.]

"Aw, well, ok. Next time Shizuo-san, we will for sure get you to introduce us to Kasuka," Mairu sing-songed in promise. The twins waved energetically at the two adults as they sped off on Celty's motorcycle. Before Shizuo could even speak a PDA appeared before his face, held by black shadowy tendrils.

[We can't tell Kururi or Mairu about Izaya's condition.]

It was a simple statement but he could feel irritation crawl at his skin and suppressed a growl that bubbled in his throat. "And why the hell not? They're his sisters, shouldn't they get to know that their fucking bastard of a big brother is in a coma."

He didn't know why he was so angry. Maybe it was because if Kasuka was in the same situation he would like to fucking know then it being kept away from him. Celty faltered with her typing before she allowed her shadows to type in something.

[It's upon Izaya's request that they don't know about his condition. Due to the patient's request, we would like to respect it.]

* * *

[I would like to think that it's because he doesn't want to worry them, but maybe that's asking for a bit much.]

Shizuo narrowed his eyes but knew that he was defeated. That, however, did not make his antipathy towards the situation lessen any more.

[Hey, you were off to visit Izaya, right? I can give you a ride there.]

"...Yeah," Shizuo begrudgingly admitted. Celty nodded and sped off towards the appointed place.

[You're very kind to do that for him, of all people, Shizuo.]

* * *

Shizuo clenched and unclenched his fists as he glared at Izaya. Celty had left a while ago and he was once again alone with the man. He was still pretty pissed from his little encounter with the raven's siblings. He didn't understand why Izaya had made it so that the girls weren't allowed to know his condition. It riled him even more that he saw that the girls were getting worried and even asking the man's mortal enemy just where their brother is.

Shizuo grit his teeth as he swung his fist.

His fist landed by Izaya's face, expression unchanging, causing the pillow to explode and feathers began to rain on both of them. He panted low shallow breaths as the rage coursed through his entire body with his vision becoming distorted and seemed to be swimming in red. If he hadn't swerved his fist at the last second he would have done something he would have deeply regretted. He felt his blunt nails digging in his palm and saw the red liquid spreading across the pillow's cloth.

He could practically hear maniacal laughter ringing in his ears, his taunts, his jeers; his fucking _voice _was resounding in his head. Shizuo growled out a feral roar as he took the chair, conveniently by Izaya's bedside, and threw it out the window. Images of claret orbs glinting in amusement and lopsided smirks soon filled his mind and that led him to punch a few holes in the walls.

Shziuo slumped against a patch of wall that he did not destroy. His eyes flittered back to the comatose man that sent a spinning spell in his mind as he slid to the floor. The hospital bed, and its patient, remained unscathed from his destruction excluding the busted up pillow, his blood soaked into the pillow case, and the feathers lying aimlessly around the room.

He suddenly felt disgusted with himself as he got up and quickly left the room, or what's left of it. He ignored the shocked nurse's face and the expressions people gave him as he sprinted out the hospital.

* * *

It's been a week. He couldn't find it in himself to go see the flea. He felt ashamed for getting so angry and destroying the room when the man himself wasn't even conscious and hadn't even lifted a finger to trigger his anger. This morning he woke up to being pissed off for no reason so the people he had to deal with got off easy, as one look at his face they caved in. Then there were some people who had the nerve to bark in his face and aggravate him beyond his limits. Just like this unfortunate man.

"Huh? Debt? What debt? You people must be mistaking me for someone else? For, you see, Miki-chan and I share a love no one could defeat. Even if she can't see me every day, we meet once and a while. That is why...guh-"

Shizuo punched the waste-of-space of a man. He had heard these sap stories too many times to count and right now he was on a short rope. He towered over the man menacingly as Tom began to quickly talk to the scum before Shizuo snapped and punch the man to death. The man just wiped at the blood on the corner of his mouth and had the gall to smirk up at him.

* * *

Mii: So yeah, stopping there~ Felt like I should upload this one since I got around to uploading '_Wanting you_'.

This is a more emotional fic and the romance won't happen for a while so...  
This one is further along in the kink meme so do go find it on there to learn a little more about the story~


	2. Still progressing

"I heard about'cha. Blond, tall, purple shades, and strutting around in a bartender suit. You're the one they call Heiwajima Shizuo. You go chasing that pretty boy, Orihara. Heh, heard he went into a coma and you went and beat the shit outta him. Some man you are. Beating up a poor defenseless piece of shit-"

And Shizuo lost his grip on the rope all together as he surrendered and let his violent nature consume him. By the time he was calm again he held the unconscious man above his head and Tom only looked at him questioningly. He sat the man on the floor and mumbled apologies to his employer and lit a fresh new cancer stick for himself.

"So, Orihara, is he really in the hospital," Tom asked after minutes of silence. Shizuo had his back to the dread-locked man, so he didn't know what kind of expression the other had, but nodded hesitantly. "Ah, so that's why he hasn't been in 'Bukuro the past month or so. You ok?"

"Tom-san...you don't think I'd be low enough to beat up an unconscious man, do you?"

"Of course not! Give me a little credit here, Shizuo, how long have we been together now? I know you hate the guy but I would never think so badly of you," Tom encouraged the blond earnestly as Shizuo slowly began to turn towards him. He offered his senpai a small smile and nodded his head.

But the fact is still known to him that he almost did. He almost turned into a real monster that day. If he hadn't found it in him to stop at that one last moment everything this man had said would have been true. And this brought a new shame on him as he ran a hand down his face and back up into his blond tresses. Vorona waited patiently outside the room as her senpais took their time settling down.

"Why don't we all go visit him?"

* * *

Never would he have thought he would be visiting Izaya in the presence of others besides Shinra or Celty. But here he was with Tom and Vorona staring down at the once lively flea. Vorona had even bought a bouquet of vibrant red poppies.

"Poppies stand for '_consolation_'. So I found it necessary to get them."

The blood red color only ceased to make Shizuo remember carmine orbs flashing dangerously in the darkest of alleys. But the thought was nice and the fact that Tom and Vorona had no real relationship with the man, and still found it in their hearts to visit and bring him flowers was unbelievable.

It reminded him of when he first heard of the louse's condition and had coldly brushed it off and hadn't even thought about visiting. He had new respect for his colleagues as he sat down in a chair.

When they had entered the hospital, the nurses were wary of letting him go visit Izaya again after his last visit. But nevertheless they led him to the raven's new room for in fear they would have to face his rage.

"Wow, he looks like a completely different person when he's not running his mouth or doing shit," Tom mused as he subconsciously brushed his fingers across raven locks to remove them away from Izaya's face.

"Affirmative," Vorona said as she also poked the man's face and caressed his cheek with the back of her hand.

Shizuo didn't know how to take the scene. It hadn't dawned on him to even touch the pest, but they touched him so casually. Something he was sure he could never do, even more so, after his last meeting with the flea.

* * *

Shinra had joined them shortly after and started babbling again to the unconscious man and taking down notes and checking the monitors. Tom and Vorona bided their farewells and wished their respects to Izaya before leaving. Shizuo stayed as he lazily listened to Shinra's rants as he faced an inner battle within himself. The doctor's movements soon caught his attention.

"See, Izaya, even Shizuo came to visit you. I know it's been a week since he did so and he even ruined your previous room but here he is now! Isn't that nice of him? He even brought Tom and Vorona with him and they paid you their respects," Shinra's prattles continued as Shizuo became transfixed with the way Shinra held Izaya's hand sandwiched between his own and stroked it caringly.

His hands twitched and he couldn't understand whether he wanted to touch the lithe man or punch him. He was afraid it was the latter but he wanted to overcome his violent nature. What better way than trying to maintain his violence with the person who always seemed to bring it out of him.

* * *

He was doing this to prove himself. That was his mantra as his hand hovered over Izaya's head. He was going to prove that even if it was Izaya he could be calm and gentle like a normal human being.

Celty had came over an hour ago to pick up Shinra, and even she was able to cup Izaya's face gently, before leaving the conflicted Shizuo. He had spent that hour he was alone trying to convince him with the action he wanted to take.

This proved more difficult then he imagined. He was...afraid? Afraid to hurt someone. To hurt Izaya? Isn't that what he had always wanted. His mindset was soon escaping any coherent thought and strayed far from his current task. He hadn't even noticed his fingers had reached Izaya's forehead before he wrenched his hand away in shock.

He slowly began to build his courage back up and let his fingers lay on top of messy raven locks. It felt weird to be touching like nothing was between them but it gave Shizuo a little self-satisfactory feel in his being. He was able to leave the hospital a little happier than he'd like to believe he was.

* * *

Another month had gone and passed and at most Shizuo had only been able to visit Izaya a couple times. The month had unbelievably been busy. He wouldn't say he was eager to see Izaya. Just that gap in his life kept urging him to visit and form some kind of familiarity and whatever he wanted from the raven man.

The air was soon getting colder as autumn made its presence known in Ikebukuro. Today he had been given an early leave – Tom had given him a knowing look and waved him off – and he began his usual walk towards the all familiar building.

He bumped into a kid and felt a tug on the chain he kept his wallet on. He growled in annoyance and grabbed the retreating boy by his hood.

"Aah, you're only a kid and you already turned to pick pocketing? Next time you want to try to live off other's money makes sure the wallet s'not on chain, little shit. Or better yet you had better had make sure it's not _me _you're fucking trying to steal from," Shizuo yelled as he threw the now stark white boy in a random direction. Great, now his day was ruined. He was still lingering in his anger as he let his feet guide him to who knows where. He hadn't even noticed he entered the hospital and started ranting and rambling off to an unconscious Izaya.

"Grah, so pissed. What the fuck are these kids thinking these days! They should be studying and getting ready to enter the cold harsh world. Wouldn't want to end up like me. Not th-," he stopped in mid sentence as he realized just what he was doing. He felt a little better and calmer now. Usually he had these talks with Celty but since he up and talked to the comatose Izaya..._he felt better_?

"Shizuo-kun, were you actually talking to Izaya! That's great progress."

* * *

"...S'not like that," Shizuo muttered as he slumped even further in the chair. Shinra came in and tugged at Shizuo's green scarf and hung it with his own black one on the coat rack. "How long have you been here?"

"Or rather, how much did I hear," Shinra teased as he began his usual checklist of checking up on Izaya. "Well, I would have to say, I wonder what poor unfortunate kid went up and pissed you off."

Shizuo flushed and watched Shinra go about to chatting to Izaya about everything and nothing at all.

* * *

The next day seemed to be even colder as the citizens of Ikebukuro began to go out in winter coats, hats, and gloves. But for a certain blond ex-bartender, he wore a simple blue scarf and walked around the city as normal.

"Shizuo, you really are something. I think it's really cold, right Vorona," Tom chattered as he hugged himself trying to gain more warmth.

"Affirmative. Shizuo-senpai is quite admirable. I am in no way able to compare," Vorona said as she rubbed her hands together. Both herself and Tom adorn coats and scarves. Shizuo only gave them a goofy grin.

"That's only 'cause I'm not normal," he said as he and the group began to move again. He stopped in his tracks and whipped his head around in alarm as he caught something all too familiar. A dark jacket with tan fur trimming the edges scored down the opposite street. He couldn't keep his eyes off it but somewhere in his mind he knew it wasn't Izaya.

"Shizuo? You good, man," Tom shook the bodyguard out of his trance.

"Yeah...yeah, I'm fine."

Coincidently he was free to go and he left on his way to visit a certain someone. He had not just wished that the person wearing the fur jacket was actually Izaya. He hadn't. Or so he wished he hadn't.

The days were actually going by smoothly so long as he came and visited the comatose man.

Shizuo would like to think that it was because he was reminding himself of his hate and remembering the adrenaline that he would get by chasing the back of Izaya. But even to himself that sounded wrong. He made himself a hot chocolate in the hospital's lobby and headed towards the already familiar room that the flea was in.

Shizuo had started to slowly talk to Izaya, usually not out of anger. He started with small stuff like how he felt when he got up that morning and then started to babble about what he had eaten so far in the day. It was usual nonsense that you wouldn't really babble to someone who was aware and able to comment back, but it gave him something to do.

Occasionally, when he felt like he wanted to, he'd brush back inky black strands out of Izaya's face. And Shizuo felt like doing it today, but the moment his fingers touched skin he snatched it back in confusion. He was freezing!

Shizuo quickly headed out to get a nurse to give him an extra blanket. When he came back, Shinra was already inside the room tinkering away on the machines and his clipboard.

"Ah, Shizuo-kun, thank goodness you're here...oh, blankets, that's great! Could you please carefully place them on him," Shinra said frantically as he rushed out of the room.

* * *

"So, what's up with the flea," Shizuo asked once Shinra and him were done fidgeting over Izaya. He had made sure Izaya was tucked in and had carefully placed his hands inside the covers, minding the IVs and wires.

"Oh, it's cause of the cold. Since Izaya has low circulation he gets cold very easily. That doesn't change even when he's in a coma, haha."

"Hmm," Shizuo said idly as he stared down at the lithe man. It seemed like he was learning miscellaneous information about the informant that he never knew before as he spent his days by Izaya's side.

* * *

The next day Shizuo decided to go home first before heading out to visit Izaya. His cell began to vibrate alerting the blond of a new text message. It was from Kasuka.

'_Aniki,_

_I got some time off of work later this week so I'll be dropping by your place if you don't mind. I would like to spend the time with you._

_Kasuka_.'

Shizuo could feel his heart melt as he smiled at his orange communication device. It has been so long since he's seen his little brother. Shizuo didn't complain because he knew his sibling had a busy schedule and a successful job to upkeep, but he seriously cherished what little time they were able to have together.

With a bounce in his step he made his way to the hospital. By the time he got there he made a cup of hot chocolate and loaded it up with marshmallows and headed up the stairs to Izaya's room. He was so happy that not even the sight of the man deterred his mood.

"Ou, today is such a great day! Kasuka's gonna come to spend time with me. You know, it's been months since I've seen him and actually got to do something with him. The last time, I went over to his place and he got a cat – his name is Yuigadokusonmaru - and it was so cute and small, I was afraid I'd hurt it." Shizuo's expression went a little sullen when he looked at his hands and began flexing his fingers. "But Kasuka handed me the cat and nothing happened. Heh, guess I'm not as much as a monster as you thought...you and I both..."

Shizuo didn't like it. Slowly, but surely, he was coming closer and closer to feeling the anger that was once ignited instantly from seeing the raven's face was slowly dissipating. But there was also the fact that the man was in a coma. Which meant that he wasn't talking, wasn't fucking with lives, and doing all the things that pissed Shizuo or made him wary of. It wouldn't be his first time thinking that '_everything would be better this way._'

But that kind of thinking was kind of harsh and uncalled for, no matter whom it was. Who knows, someone out there who probably hates his guts might be wishing for him to disappear or maybe fall into an endless sleep. Which is why Shizuo tried not to linger around his negative feelings involving Izaya as much as he could, which proved to be easier than he'd liked to admit.

He was disturbed out of his thoughts with a knock at the door. It couldn't have been Shinra, for the doctor usually just strode on in as if he owned the place. The door opened to reveal a tall woman with long dark hair and an apathetic face.

"...I'm sorry I think I have the wrong room."

And then she left. Shizuo could have sworn he had seen her somewhere before but he couldn't, for the life of him, remember where. As he pondered the strange occurrence for a while and was about to let it slip out of his mind, the click of the door drew amber orbs to glance back.

"...Apparently I was wrong...I am where I'm supposed to be. Sorry for intruding."

And then he remembered. This was the woman he saw back when he had stormed off to Izaya's flat after meeting Akane. From what he guessed, she was probably working for the flea. It took awhile before Shizuo remembered he was spoken to.

"Ah, no...it's fine."

She stared at him as if she didn't believe that he was actually there and he couldn't blame her. What kind of person goes and visits their most hated enemy as if it were completely normal or sane to do so. He felt awkward.

"I had not expected to see the infamous Heiwajima here at all, really. This is truly...unusual," she said with a little interest slipping in her tone.

* * *

'_Yeah, I would have never thought I'd be here either._'

"Yeah, um...you're, uh...Izaya's employee right?" Shizuo hated that he had stammered and silently berated himself for sounding stupid. Namie slid her cold gaze up to his and he could practically feel ice run through his veins.

"Yes, I am Yagiri Namie, this bastard's personal secretary." Her words were as cold as her gaze as she placed her coat on the rack and walked towards the bed with her arms crossed. She seemed to look down on Izaya with contempt in her eyes but Shizuo could have sworn the ice that was there had melted just a tad. She huffed out a sigh as she walked around the bed to stand near the window and leaned against the wall. "Why are you here, Heiwajima?" she prompted, not caring about the use of honorifics. "Certainly you are not here because you are concerned for your nemesis well being?"

Shizuo could feel his brows furrow in irritation and resisted the urge to growl. "No fucking way. When Flea wakes up, I'm going to punch his face in and send him back to the frickin' hospital; but on my own accord only! If he doesn't get it by my hand then why have I been chasing him for all these years and he hasn't paid me back a single minute that he's screwed me over yet. I can't have him sleeping forever when he's got so much he's owed me."

Shizuo didn't care if it didn't make sense, if it did for him than it was reason enough to stay by the louse's side. He wasn't here because he cared. He was only here because he became bored and had some part of him ripped out of him and it was all Izaya's fault. _It was his fault, it's always Izaya's fault_.

And then he heard the laughter. The faint tinkling laughter that only belonged to the info broker and had always sent a violent rage to erupt inside the ex-bartender. He glanced back at Izaya's unmoved expression as the laughing began to grow louder and echo around his mind. He could feel every muscle in his body stiffen as his vision began to distort and a pair of carmine eyes flashed in front of him.

"Heiwajima!"

Shizuo snapped out of wherever his mind had taken him and found he had stood up and gripped the chair so hard it had cracks. He knew his body was ready to throw the chair but to '_where_' was the question.

"S-sorry..."

* * *

Shizuo stared at the ground as he let the cigarette that was hanging loosely in his mouth, waste. You'd think that after a little more than over a month and half of seeing the flea, more than he would usually, he wouldn't be perturbed. But no, he and Izaya had too much between them for him to change how he reacted around the man or how his body acted on its own when anger – the anger he particularly felt around Izaya – flooded his systems and sense of reason.

He had left the room and was outside on one of the many balconies of the hospital. He was running away again, but god damn it; if he stayed he didn't know what would have happened. Was it really safe for him to keep coming here?

* * *

"So, why are you here?" He didn't think he was being nosy but the woman gave him the same icy glare, and Shizuo barely caught himself on growling at her.

She didn't answer right away and instead seemed to mull over what she could and couldn't tell him. "He told me to wait three months or so after his disappearance before contacting Kishitani-sensei."

"Wait- ...The flea knew this was going to happen?"

"Well, technically no. He told me if he were to disappear, wait three to four months prior before digging into the situation or contact Kishitani." Her gaze lowered to the raven before snapping back up at Shizuo. "But he sounded pretty damn sure that something like this was going to happen."

* * *

So Izaya knew what was going on with his body. But why was he stupid enough to provoke Shizuo and bring more damage upon himself! Why? _Why, why, why_?

'_Why the hell didn't he just stay away from me like everybody else?_'

Shizuo was getting lost in his thoughts as he heard a faint mutter of farewell from the woman and the click of the door. His body slumped in exhaustion as he closed his heavy eyelids and ran a hand through his hair.

That night Shizuo found it hard to find sleep.

* * *

He didn't know why he came but something always pulled him back. It was the familiarity that he felt drawn to. The uneventful days and going through normal problems and life was not the normalcy he was used. He wishes so damn much that it was.

Shizuo wanted to just forget that Izaya was in the hospital but he couldn't let go of what was now embed too far in his being. And that in itself was as much as his own fault as it was Izaya's.

When he reached the room he knew instantly that something was wrong, something was different. The door was left agape. A sense of security hit Shizuo as he crept along the wall and peered through the slit.

As ocher orbs searched the room they landed on a person perched on the bed along with Izaya's body. When he realized it was just Namie, Shizuo began to relax.

Namie sat on the bed gazing down on the raven's profile as she brought a hand to trace pale lips before bringing it back up to stroke high cheek bones almost affectionately.

He felt like he was the one intruding.

He subconsciously knocked on the wood of the door as he cleared his throat meekly. Her gaze slowly met his and he was taken aback that the ice in her eyes had melted considerably only for it to appear anew in the next second.

"I'm sorry for interrupting..."

"There is no need to apologize."

Shizuo couldn't look her in the eyes so he trained his gaze on the floor as he stiffly walked his way to the chair. He watched the steady rhythm of the rise and fall of Izaya's chest - the proof that he was still alive - that and the soft beeping of the heart monitor.

He couldn't help but glance between the comatose informant and the secretary. She was really pretty with her long legs and long perfect dark hair. Her personality definitely made him think of the flea and his kind of shady people.

"Are you...Izaya's lover?" he couldn't help but ask, even though the question made his stomach drop and feel a little nauseous.

"...Pffahahahahhaha- Me? His lover? Oh god...hahaha-" she laughed for a few more seconds. It was not a cheery laugh but it wasn't a cold scoff either, it was like it couldn't choose to either be a maniacal cackle or a playful giggle. But all Shizuo could think about was that it wasn't like _his _laugh. "I'm sorry...that caught me off guard. No, I am not. I can't see him having any kind of lover...too untouchable. Or so he likes to put himself as." She composed herself as quickly as the ice began to rebuild itself in her composure but a hint of an amused smile was still expressed on her lips.

"...Sorry...," Shizuo muttered under his breath as he shoved his hands in his pant pockets. She offered him a small smile – which he barley caught – before it disappeared as soon as it came.

"Ah, Shizuo-kun, I'm gla- ...Why if it isn't Namie-san! I didn't know you planned to be here."

Shizuo felt a chill race down his spine when Shinra's usually bubbly voice dropped down a couple octaves and took on the edge of dangerous as he addressed the secretary.

* * *

Mii: Aren't you guys just being left off in the weirdest parts of my stories...

Anyways, finally got up to updating this! I'm so glad I'm getting somewhere with this~ Exceptionally farther on LJ so I suggest you go check it out there 'cause serious shizz is happening...sort of.

Reminder: Link to DRRR kinkmeme is on my profile and most of my fills are in the recent part (which is Part 11) and that's all I'm gonna give you. If you do manage to find me, good job! But don't tell others with your reviews! They should be able to look it up themselves ;)

A note on Shiuzo's behavior: He is really not openly aware of what his exact reason is for visiting Izaya and for most of the duration of this story he will go back and forth with that, including his feelings for the info broker.


End file.
